Is It Time to Cut the Friendship Cord?

Monday, August 25, 2014

When you're young the only requirement you need in a friend is that they'll share their Gushers with you. When you get a bit older, the requirements can get a bit more sophisticated and a bit more complicated. In any natural life, friends come and go. Sometimes you lose touch, sometimes they are on a different path than you are. 

But what if that separation doesn't happen naturally? What if you're holding onto someone who just may not be considered a friend anymore? When do you know it's time to call it quits on the friend? And if you do, are you giving up on them? 

For years I've had some friends come and go. And always one that was always there. We may not talk all the time but we'd make plans to hang out every few months or so. We'd keep in touch on Facebook and social media. 

But for months now we haven't spoken. The person hasn't even tried. And when you don't even try in the friendship anymore, there is nothing left. 

the worst solitude is to be destitute of sincere friendship.

I really don't have all that many friends, especially not enough to be getting rid of some, but there is nothing worse than always being the person who is called upon when someone else is bored. I am not a toy to be used when the person needs a distraction. 

There was also a lot of broken plans. A lot of vague promises of "We'll have to hang out soon" that just didn't end up being sincere. I'm not going to always be the one asking, asking, asking. 

Friendships are supposed to be a give and take. A relationship based on compromises, understanding, and a mutual like of the other person. Sometimes one criteria is weighs more than the rest, other times one is severely lacking but when they are all in desperate need of rejuvenation, maybe it's just time to let it go.

A friendship that can end never really began.

Friendships can not only become a burden but can become toxic. 

So, as immature and catty as it sounds I Unfriended this person on Facebook and it was actually a relief. I no longer had to pretend to be interested in their life or upset when I noticed how long ago our last chat session was. I may not have many friends but I'm definitely not going to force something that was obviously over a while ago.

Don't be afraid to end things that are no longer good for you. Things that hold you back or make you rethink your life as it is. Sometimes friendships dissolve and ending it isn't something you should apologize for. 

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  1. Friendships are so different after college, it seems. I don't have many friends either, and I mean that in the sense that there are very few people who I could count on to be there for me no matter what the circumstances. A lot of the friends I have now are just there when I feel like going out want to have a few drinks with. And there are very few that I can sit down and have a genuinely good conversation with. It's such a shame, but it makes me value the real friends that I do have. You made so many good points in this!

  2. I feel that when that person is able to count on me to be there in dire straights, I should do the same and with this person I don't even think they'd answer the phone. It's disheartening but that's how it goes sometimes. It definitely makes me more appreciative of the friends I do have and is actually making me more open about making new ones.