Friendzone

I'm sure you've heard of the term "friendzone" by now. It's become quite a popular word in today's lexicon.

I've gotten pretty sick of this word and its many memes. It's basically guys complaining about how girls they like, don't like them back in that way.

This irrationally upsets guys for some reason.

I guess it's because they've put so much time and effort into actually being a good friend and even after ALL THAT, they get absolutely nothing out of it.

I mean, you would think the least she could do IS GIVE HIM A BLOWIE, right?


Uh. Hell No.

Women DO NOT owe you anything. If you're being nice and helping her out and doing whatever for her - that's your decision. I'm going to let you in on a little secret,

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT. 

But, if you want to - that's great. It means you're a good person. Caring, kind, compassionate.


But that does not apply if you're expecting sexual favors in return. What is nice about only doing something for the results you expect to get in return?

Nothing.

So you can stop that shit about "I'm such a good guy."

Which also begs the question: What makes you think it's your manners that turn her off? I'm sure that you have a myriad of other personality traits that she doesn't like. Maybe it's the way you talk back to your mother. The way you don't pay your fair share of rent. The way you say you're going to do something and then don't. You think that the ONLY reason she doesn't like you is because she'd rather have a "bad" boy?

Pst. Please.

I also don't quite understand where the word comes from.

If you were both friends with each other and then you eventually liked her, well into the friendship, then you're in exactly the same place as before - both friends.

If, however, you went in wanting sex, but didn't tell her - then you're the one who's being untruthful.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to talk to a girl to see if you two are compatible. But it's super helpful if the girl in question knows what's up. Especially if the girl can tell you from day one that she isn't interested.

To go into a friendship, expecting a relationship is just plain stupid.

I'd also like to address the double standard and stereotype of the whole unrequited love thing. Why is it in movies & TV shows that girls are always crying hysterically when the guy doesn't like her and the guy's like "Whatever, next bitch!"  This whole friendzone thing is the equivalent to ugly crying in your pillow at night while eating ice cream straight from the tub. But I guess it's just somehow more "manly" to bitch about it when you've got a penis swinging.


Here are some people who know what's up when it comes to the whole friendzone thing.

International Women's Day

Yesterday, March 8, was International Women's Day. A day that celebrates the social, economic, and political achievements that women have made throughout history. It is also a reminder that though women have made great leaps and bounds there are still many areas in which women are not treated equally to men.

The day is not meant to put down men, to demean them, to say that their achievements are not as worthy. It is simply a day to celebrate and recognize all the ladies who have made great contributions to our world, our lives, who you may not have ever heard of.


I'm sorry to say that this is actually my first time hearing about International Women's Day, so little recognition did it get prior to social media. But there are many countries who actually celebrate IWD as a national holiday!

Afghanistan, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Burkina Faso, Cambodia, China (for women only), Cuba, Georgia, Guinea-Bissau, Eritrea, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Laos, Madagascar (for women only), Moldova, Mongolia, Montenegro, Nepal (for women only), Russia, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Uganda, Ukraine, Uzbekistan, Vietnam and Zambia

I've read that it's similar to the US version of Mother's Day where women receive small gifts of appreciation. But I kind of like the fact that IWD isn't exclusively for women who have children.


Here are some great links I've found around the web that celebrate women. Click on the pictures to be taken to some really interesting female-centered articles.

via i09

via Brain Pickings

via PBS

Via Tumblr

Banned Book Week

Have you ever read any of these books?

Captain Underpants

The Bluest Eye

The Hunger Games Triology

Looking for Alaska

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

If you have then you've read (at least) one of the top 10 most challenged books for young adults last year. 

This week, September 21 - 27, is Banned Book Week where libraries, bookstores, schools, and the American Library Association (ALA) promote and educate people on the harm of censorship. 

Some of the most common reasons for censoring books have to do with "sexually explicit" content, "offensive language," and "homosexuality". 

Censoring books does not keep children or teens from learning these things. I'm pretty sure they already talk about all these things on a daily basis. But the problem does come when perhaps they read something a bit mature and are not given an outlet for discussing the situations within. 

Reading has been shown to improve empathy. It also teaches readers (children and adults) how other people live their life, make their decisions, and solve their problems enabling readers to delve into other worlds without having to actually live them. 

This means that reading a book like Go Ask Alice or Tweak will not automatically make you a drug addict. They do however provide a glimpse into the lives of those who may be portrayed within the book. Though fiction, the stories you read can be as real if not more so than any PSA out there. 

“A thing may happen and be a total lie; another thing may not happen and be truer than the truth.”
― Tim O'Brien, The Things They Carried

I've been a reader my entire life and I would hate to think that I could have missed out on some great books simply because someone else thought I was not mature enough to handle it. 

The problem with censoring books is that it is our right to read whatever we want to read. We are able to decide for ourselves which books we feel good enough to read.  

You may argue that in schools censoring can be a good thing. But even then, when it comes to completely banning a book - you're going the wrong way about it. 

Completely disregarding a topic does not mean that the problems go away. Sometimes, things need to be said in certain terms to better get the idea across. Sometimes people have sex (gasp) and sometimes people have gay sex (double gasp). By challenging these ideas and topics, we are actually teaching our children that they are somehow taboo. We are telling them that they are bad and therefore shouldn't be talked about in a mature, inquisitive, educational manner. 

In The Perks of Being A Wallflower themes of sexual abuse are told within. But did you know that according to The National Child Traumatic Stress Network as many as 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will have been sexually abused in some way before their 18th birthday? That is definitely not a small percentage! That means that these things happen and sometimes in order for others to come forward they have to find someone else who's been in the same situation. Sometimes that person doesn't have to be real for the victim to find strength.

Instead of being afraid that our children will go about re-enacting the things they see in books, we should be actively engaged with them about their reading. We should encourage them to read for fun as well for education. 

Banning books should not be the answer to any question. I mean, if you want some proof look no further than...

Fahrenheit 451

If you want to support the ALA and would like to donate 10$ to their endeavour you may do so HERE. 

If you'd like to see the top ten most frequently challenged books from 2001 - 2013 you may do so on the ALA website HERE. 

If you'd like to sport an I READ BANNED BOOKS banner on your Twitter or Facebook pages visit the Banned Book Week's website HERE. 

And lastly, tell me what banned books you've read or would love to read in the future. 

Man Hater

I am a feminist. I believe that though women have made huge progress in being equal to men in certain areas, there are some that we still need to catch up on. I've written about it here on my blog. In daily life though, the subject doesn't come up that often. The people I hang out with are either feminist themselves or at the very least not complete assholes who oppose the idea. I mean, why would I want to surround myself with people who think my opinion is less than theirs?

So, I've never had an encounter where I found myself verbally defending women's equality or lack thereof.

Until a few weeks ago.

John and I were at a party with other people who were drinking, laughing, talking. I was talking to a friend of ours when a man in his 40s or 50s comes up to us and joins in on the conversation. I don't quite remember what the conversation was about initially but before long we were talking about dancing. And he believed that a woman could not lead.

"But," we asked, "what if the guy can't dance? Why would we want to follow a bad dancer, instead of showing them how to do it?" 

"The man always leads," the guy said.

And this was just the beginning of the night. Looking back, I think he might be one of those people who end up arguing and belligerent when they drink just for the hell of it, because it seemed as if he kept trying to instigate an argument.

Though we were on opposing sides of the discussion, things were getting expressed in a fairly calm manner.

Until more drinks were had.

Towards the end of the night, he apparently knew enough about me to come to the conclusion that I was a man-hater.

Yup. Me. This girl.

I was completely taken aback by it. I mean, I would never have thought someone would call me that in my entire life. Bitch? Yes. Rude? Totally. But a man-hater? This was new.

What made me most upset was the fact that he kept saying things in reference to my childhood, as if knowing me for a whole two hours was long enough for him to psychoanalyze my life.

Offhanded comments like "you must have had a really bad childhood to be so angry," only helps to support the claim that my opinion isn't as valued. My thoughts and opinions aren't, no, can't be correct because, obviously, I still resent the fact that my dad was an absentee father.

Newsflash old man. My dad is amazing. Not only was he there for me as a child, he's there for me now. But perhaps you're projecting your own mommy/daddy issues onto me. 

See, even writing this posts is hard because I so want to take those low punches that I know I shouldn't take.

But it got me thinking about the fact that culture, can come from a sense of duty and pride and can eventually become something more sinister.  The man was an older, Latino guy - it makes sense that he was taught (along with many other boys) that men have to be providers, have to be strong, have to protect their women.

The idea of providing for family; of strength in faith, body, mind; and a sense of protectiveness in loved ones are great traits to possess.

But they should not be men-only virtues. Nor should they be the only redeeming ones.

This idea that there are men-only traits and women-only traits are part of the problem everyone faces today.

The idea that feminism is an ideology based on hating and putting down men is not only wrong, it's causing more trouble.

I don't hate men. But as a woman I'm not sure I've paid enough attention to their issues. So I think it's time to have a look at the other side. I want to see what issues men are faced with and what steps people around the world are taking to help ensure that both genders are treated.

Which is why in the next few entries I'll be talking about how men play a role in feminism and how men have their own sets of gender roles that we need to be aware of.

Stolen Celebrity Photos

I'm sure you've already heard about the "scandal" surrounding the "leaked" nude photos of some celebrities. In the case that you haven't, here's the gist - some sexual offender purposefully went into various celebrities personal photographs, stole them and reposted them on 4chan.

This is completely disgusting on so many levels. I don't even know where this person comes off as thinking they are somehow entitled to these people's photos. This complete disregard for other people's privacy is sickening and with the internet being as prevalent as it is, it has become a bit too common place.

However, what I would like to draw attention to is the media surrounding it.

This "scandal" is not a scandal. Not only is this a horrible choice of words, it puts the blame on the victims. Just like the word "leak". The photos were not leaked! They were stolen! The blame needs to be rightfully put on the person who did it.

None of the celebrities should have to apologize for their pictures. Taking naked pictures is not dirty, sinful, wrong, or as I saw it described in a comment "pervy". These women were under the impression that no one besides those they granted permission to would see these private photos. The fact that only slutty, shameful women take nude photos is wrong. These women have nothing to apologize for and the fact that people are thinking they should is completely erroneous. The "pervy" thing is the fact that someone decided famous nude celebrity photos should be EVERYONE's photos. The "pervy" thing is that someone thinks women's bodies are for EVERYONE to oogle at. The "pervy" thing is that women's nude photos get passed around the internet way.too.much.

To all those saying "they should have expected this to happen", do you realize that you are using the "wearing a short skirt may get you raped" rationale? It's the same thing. People should not have to take such drastic actions to be sure that their rights (to their privacy, to their own bodies) are secure. We need to stop blaming people for taking pictures that they are totally and completely rightfully and legally able to take.

We need to start putting the blame where it belongs - on the perpetrator. And we need to start using choice words so that the idea gets across. This person was not just a hacker but is also a sex offender. The photos were not leaked, they were stolen.

Whether there was a security flaw in the cloud system or not- the perpetrator had a choice. S/he did not have to take the time and effort of going into these people's private photos, stealing the sexual ones, and then going and showing everyone else on the internet. The idea that there are inherently evil people in the world who cannot help themselves needs to stop. The idea that because there is a defect in security does not mean that we should expect people to abuse it.

There needs to be more people saying "this person is a sex offender" when speaking about the hacker. There needs to be more people saying "please don't apologize for your body" to the celebrities that were hacked. There needs to be more people saying "people are not entitled to your private photographs even if you're in the spotlight." There needs to be more people saying "we need to have definite punishments for people who abuse these kinds of security weaknesses". There needs to be more people saying "we will not tolerate this."

15 To Life: Kenneth's Story

15 to Life: Kenneth's Story
Directed, Written, and Produced by: Nadine Pequeneza


When I was 15, me and a friend met up at this park in our neighborhood to smoke some weed. It wasn't my first time but I guess this stuff was stronger or something because I started freaking out. I mean, freaking out. I started getting paranoid. It was late and the dark was quickly taking over. Every little twig breaking or leaf rustling made my eyes bulge and my pulse quicken. My mom had already called me twice telling me to come home. We had been walking for what felt like an hour to find our way back home but really, it couldn't have been more than thirty minutes or so. I was near hysteria when we finally got out of the thick brush and realized we were a mile or so from where we were supposed to be. We walked all the way back home in the dark and I probably ended up grounded.


Needless to say, I was a completely different person some ten years ago. I can't imagine what it would be like to have my life dictated by a stupid mistake I made in those formative teenage years.

And that is part of the point of 15 to Life: Kenneth's Story.

When Kenneth was 14 years old, he was an accomplice in four armed robberies under the guidance of an adult ten years older than him. In charge of collecting or destroying the surveillance footage, Kenneth did not carry a gun or have direct interaction with the victims. On one occasion, he was even blackmailed into assisting. Yet, at age 15, Kenneth was sentenced to FOUR consecutive life sentences without parole.

I understand that armed robbery is a serious offense. I understand that the victims (no victims were killed in any of the robberies) will never forget what happened to them. I understand that actions have consequences.

I get all that.

But there also comes a point where we have to understand that the way we've been doing things, isn't working. It isn't helping those who need it most.

There are numerous studies that show the brain of teens and those in their early twenties are still developing. They succumb to peer pressure more easily than adults, don't fully understand what consequences their actions may have, and are more prone to risky behavior.

When "criminals" come into the courtroom it does not behoove them to send to them prison for life. Incarceration for wrong doings are intended to punish the behavior. When the punishment is excessive, you are not helping the person rehabilitate. You are writing them off. You are telling them that they are not worth the effort.

A video about Mass Incarceration in the US 

This becomes an even bigger problem when we talk about juveniles. Some of those who are incarcerated, committed a crime to try to improve their situation in life. Things like stealing money or goods for food are commonplace. Others grew up in a household full of questionable morality and therefore known nothing else.

“Instead of inflicting these horrible punishments, it would be far more to the point to provide everyone with some means of livelihood, so that nobody's under the frightful necessity of becoming first a thief and then a corpse.”

― Thomas More, Utopia

Kenneth's story brings these problems to the forefront. These practices of leaving children to die in prisons has to change. And like anything, all these problems stem from other things: household life, drugs, mental health, gangs, abuse, assault.

Kids, more than others need to be nurtured and shown the way. I'm not saying that they should never have punishments. But the punishments need to fit the crime and their situation in life should be taken into account.

So many people believe that those who are in prison not only deserve to be there but have exhausted their other options and that simply isn't true.

The effects of being in prison take a toll on the person who comes out. They are less stable, less likely to find a job, a home, and are more likely to return for a repeat offense because they are not able to make do without helpful resources.


I didn't know that as many as 2,500 have been given life sentences as juveniles. Kenneth's Story along with his lawyers, his family, and even one of the forgiving victims was truly inspiring. I always put myself into other people's shoes and I honestly don't think I'd be half as optimistic as Kenneth is.

I give it 5 out of 5 popcorn.

You can watch 15 to Life: Kenneth's Story on PBS, tonight, at 8/7 CST. Or you can visit: POV to view the documentary or check your local listings.

The Hobby Lobby Case

On June 30, 2014 the Supreme Court of the United States ruled in a 5-4 ruling that in the case of Burwell v Hobby Lobby: corporations can deny forms of birth control to their female employees with no monetary penalty, if it is "closely held". (Closely held in this case means that it has no more than five shareholders.)

And it's a horrible decision.

Hobby Lobby is not a person. Hobby Lobby is not a sentient being. I cannot go up to Hobby Lobby on the sidewalk and punch it in the face, give it a hug, or ask it for change. Hobby Lobby cannot have a religious preference. It is a business: a for-profit business which means that it has to follow the law and provide health care for ALL of its employees OR provide no health care but pay the fine.

That is the law. That's it. It's really not that hard. Do or do not. You cannot just simply pick and choose which forms of healthcare you don't agree with.

Hobby Lobby claimed that because they, the owners, are religious they don't believe their company should have to provide certain types of birth control.

And again I emphasize that it's not right.

Some people on comment threads all around the internetz claim that it's not that big a deal because birth control is not a right. Well, that's partially true. Being able to get free birth control is not an amendment but under the current law (Contraceptive Mandate) having access to birth control is actually something you should expect, should you have need of it. You should also expect that your employer would treat both men and women fairly when it comes to medications and healthcare costs...which surprise! birth control is a part of.

Now, if this is your way of thinking why don't we say that about ALL medications? Oh, you have a sinus infection but your employer doesn't want to pay for the antibiotics? No big deal. Why don't you pay for it out of your own pocket. I mean, hell yeah it's going to cost a lot more but hey, it's not like they're forcibly keeping you from obtaining it. If that is what you really think, then by all means, please opt out of all insurance and pay for everything out of your own pocket.

Then there are the "Go Find Another Job" people. This too is always an option. If you really don't agree with Hobby Lobby's views you are more than welcome to find another job. But to think that "just" finding another job in this economy is as easy as typing it - well you've obviously been living under a rock. The point still comes down to the fact that you should not HAVE to quit your job because your current employer is wanting special rights. Switching jobs doesn't solve the bigger problem at hand. It may be inconvenient for you to hear people discuss their health care concerns but ignoring it doesn't help the problem.

There were also many misinformed commenters. Those who sided with Hobby Lobby were calling those who wanted access to these certain types of birth control - abortionists. But that is not the case. IUDs and Plan B are not actually abortion-inducing. This is backed by science. Both IUDs and the Plan B methods work to stop ovulation. That means it prevents an egg from dropping. If however, you are already pregnant these methods will do nothing. And if nothing happens that means that your pregnancy was not aborted. IUDs are actually used in many other countries as long-term, effective, reversible birth control. They are 99% effective (so that should shut all the "Go Buy A Condom" people who know that condoms have a 12% failure rate) but can costs hundreds or thousands of dollars without insurance.

You can read the entire article here.

If you agree with Hobby Lobby, then I beg you to think of what the ruling implies for other companies as well. Nine out of 10 businesses are thought to be "closely held" which means that there very well may be other lawsuits coming against other types of medicine.

Some religions don't believe in blood transfusions, some don't believe in antidepressants, and the list goes on. The Supreme Court may have tried to write out any ambiguous wording against other types of religious views but that begs the question: if you have to specifically word the law so that other religions cannot also benefit, is it really an equitable law?

I shouldn't have to say that America is a nation without a religion. We do not have a national religion thrust upon us. So to favor a law that is Christian in nature goes against the First Amendment.

However, let's be clear: just because companies offer birth control or medicine that goes against your religion doesn't mean you have to take it. You have the choice to deny it. That is your religious freedom. It does not mean, however, that you have the right to deny me said medicine based on your beliefs. You are then hindering my religious (or nonreligious) freedom. Religion is not under attack. Your are able to abide and adhere to your own beliefs, but those beliefs have to stop with you. You are not able to decide how others believe.

This whole situation is just the tip of the iceberg. You should expect even more lawsuits coming under scrutiny based on this new verdict.

If you're interested in reading about what Supreme Court Justice Ruth Ginsburg said about how terrible this decision was, you can read her 35 page dissent here.

Strong Females - TV Show Edition

In an earlier post I talked about the lack of women-centered shows, movies, and stories in general. But just because there aren't many doesn't mean there are none. Thanks to men and women around the world, showing not only their appreciation for but their interest in female-driven stories, you can watch some of these TV shows featuring  strong, multi-dimensional, badass women.

• Buffy the Vampire Slayer 

Buffy is sassy and serious - killing evil things that lurk in the dark (and sometimes the day) by being awesome. Being the Chosen One isn't easy but Buffy is determined to live her life as normally as possible. She's the best icon to watch when you're having trouble juggling housework, homework, and an undead boyfriend. Plus, Buffy isn't the only kickass woman in the series - with Willow, Anya, Faith, and numerous others you'll never be hurting to find a women to relate or aspire to.

• Orphan Black

Relatively new but definitely worth the watch, Orphan Black not only displays the many kinds of women there are (scientist, soccer mom, thief) but also displays Tatiana Maslany's amazing ability to morph into many different characters. Mostly about clones and what it means to be human, the show is fast-paced and leaves you wanting more after each episode. There are tons of women in this series, some good - some not so good, just like real life.

• Scott & Bailey 

This show may be old to you Brits out there but I've just started watching it and I'm in love. It's a crime drama but the two DC's are both women. And their DCI is a women as well. I like it because even though Law & Order SVU has what's-her-name this series focuses on two females in what is usually considered a man's world. Just because women may do things differently than men when it comes to solving crimes it doesn't mean that their way is worse or that they're not as completely dedicated to the cause. Both Scott and Bailey with their different temperaments prove that if you're willing to work it out, you can catch the bad guy even if it's not as easy as I'm making it sound.

• Gilmore Girls 

The show is over (has been for years) but I'm still holding out hope that they make a movie. This show is the best. I've written about it before but it has the perfect mix of wit, sarcasm, humor, and heart. Following the lives of mother and daughter duo, Lorelai and Lorelai Gilmore you become immersed in their lives and the lives of the townsfolk where they live. The cool and empowering thing about GG is that it is filled with tons of funny and sexy and successful women. They may be pretty but they're not just that and the real-world lessons they teach with their pop culture references make them my idols. 

• The Bletchley Circle

With Series Two currently on right now (check your local PBS listings) I anticipate every new episode. Bletchley Circle shatters and brings to light so many stereotypes when it comes to women, their work, and their abilities. Four women who worked as code-breakers in World War II are now, a few years later, trying to figure out what to do with their lives. Sworn to official secrecy they are not allowed to tell their husbands/boyfriends/family what is it they actually did during the war. Instead they tell them they worked in the secretarial office, which not only insanely demeans the work they did but they have to pretend that the lives they are living now aren't as boring as they actually are. To not only combat their boredom but to actually prove useful the women get together to try to solve a murder. The show does a good job of showing the mentality of society in the '50s. It shows how much things have changed and sometimes, how much they are still the same. 

• Wordgirl 

Aimed at elementary school kids, Wordgirl may not seem like an adult TV show but I think if you give it a chance you'll love it just as much as I do. It's funny, intelligent, and educational. But what I love about it is the fact that Wordgirl is a woman of color and great at words. She can beat any criminal that comes her way without putting them down or making them feel bad about it. She teaches lessons to kids (and adults) in a way that makes you wish she were real. 

• Call the Midwife

Call the Midwife is about a group of midwives and their work which involves helping mothers-to-be deliver babies and take general care of the poorer people in London. They may be nurses who deal with the most womanly thing on the planet, child delivery, but they are not to be walked on. They are dedicated, caring, and strict. Their main priority is to ensure that their patients always have the best available care. The show should make people question where the idea that nurses don't go through as much as doctors or that the profession is somehow "lesser". The job may be different but it's most definitely needed and it is in no way easy.

• The Legend of Korra

Before you watch The Legend of Korra you have to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender, but they are both definitely worth it. The shows are what I'd guess you call American Anime aimed at middle and high school kids but they're great for any age. Avatar is about Aang, the last avatar on the planet who must learn to use his powers and defeat the Fire Nation, bringing peace to all. Korra is the sequel wherein she is the new avatar and she must learn to use her powers while people start to question why everyone can't have equal power. As I said, both shows are great but it's refreshing to see a girl in a position like this.

These should keep you busy for a while but if you have any suggestions post them in the comments! I'm always looking for something new to watch. 

Women in Media

It may seem weird to hear but women are both greatly misrepresented and under represented in all forms of media.

Though there are women in TV, movies, and magazines they represent a small percentage compared to the 50% they make up in the real world.

For example, when it comes to movies only 12% - 15% of the top grossing ones are female-centric.

Not only are women lacking in front of the camera - they are few and far between behind the camera as well (only 16%). And don't even get started on females in the video game industry.

What is the point of getting more women in prominent media positions?

The lack of women as role models, super heroes, and bosses give young girls few things to aspire to. Add to that the fact that women bare more of their skin more of the time, girls get the impression that in order to be somebody - you have to be sexy. The lack of diversity seen among actors, models, and celebrities also contribute to eating disorders, low self esteem, and body hate. The thoughts "Why don't I look like them? What can I do to be skinnier like them?" are toxic and creep into the subconscious, making girls as young as 10 feel inferior enough to try a diet.

Needless to say that is NOT okay.

But the lack of women in different roles doesn't just hurt other women, it hurts boys and the men they will grow up to be.

By viewing women in hyper-sexualized ways over and over and over again men get the impression that women are objects. This can lead to men treating women in real life the same way they have watched men treat women on TV. The idea that women are asking for sex, are a prize to be won, or live solely to satisfy a man's urges are not only highly exaggerated but wrong.

Which brings me to the lack of females behind the scenes. Many TV shows and movies about women are written and directed by men. Now, there is nothing wrong with men writing or directing female-centric movies but don't you think that maybe, just maybe, a woman would know a bit more about the experience?

Advertisers love to say that women-centric stories just don't make enough money the way male stories do. That is just a lazy excuse.

Which Cate Blanchett called them out on at the Oscars.

There are movies and shows with female leads that have made big money (The Hunger Games comes to mind). But there needs to be more. The "fact" that guys might not like it is not a good reason to blow it off. Even if it is true now, the more men are exposed to different, multi-dimensional views of women, the better people (both men and women) will understand the lives we live, the struggles we have, and the things we love.

The idea that women are people and have stories to tell may seem obvious but in today's major media their stories can be hard to find. It's about time we start seeing more females in more diverse roles and in bigger parts, not only for women but for men as well because the more everybody sees things from a women's perspective the better they'll understand that they have a voice.

10 Things I Like About Myself

It's a sad by-product of our society, but women in general are taught to tone down their self-worth. Men are praised for their accomplishments, assets, and good work whereas women are told to quit being a show-off.

Some attributes that seem impressive in males are actually given negative connotations when women posses them.

This Pantene ad is great at explaining it.

I totally understand that it's a shampoo ad, but can we forget that fact for a minute and actually think about what it's saying?

For example self-confidence in men is seen as narcissism in women. These double standards exist in today's world which is why I am totally behind Christy's Avoiding Atrophy link up about not only loving yourself but learning to say it.

Look at all the other people who've Linked-Up!

So here are ten things I like/love about myself.
(They are not numbered because I don't think I like one thing more than any other.)

• I am a quick learner. Luckily I've never had a hard time learning something. Not only do I love this but I'm completely grateful because I know that for some people learning new things can be hard.
• I have a lot of empathy/get attached to people, places, and things easily. Seriously. I get attached to the weirdest situations, people, and things. Old guy on the highway that I accidentally cussed out in my head? I pass him up and want to get out of my car and take him wherever he needs to go. Dog with two noses? Cutest thing ever.

You can check out Snuffle's story here. 

• My love of reading. I know that some people have a really hard time just sitting down with a book. I love it. I need to read. I love the quiet and the time to myself. I'm on Goodreads! 
• I don't need to be a leader. I think many times people assume they need to lead to be good at something. I don't have that problem and even though people say I could lead, I have no problem being second and taking orders. 
• My sense of adventure. From the places I've been to the places I want to go. I want to experience new things as often as possible. If it looks cool, tasty, or interesting - I want it.
• My hair. I used to hate - no scratch that - loath, my hair but it's probably what I get complimented on the most. It's thick, curly, and a bit unruly but it's the best thing to never have to worry about having to fix it everyday. I don't even mind the (increasing number of) gray hairs. 

Horrible face, great hair. 

• I am a good worker. Partly because of my ability to learn quickly and also because both my parents instilled in me a good, solid work ethic. I get what needs to get done, quickly and correctly. 
• I have a nice smile/good teeth. When I was younger I wanted a retainer but luckily I've never needed them, braces or even so much as a cap. I've never had a cavity and the wisdom teeth I do have don't bother me. 

• My sense of humor. Some people can see it as harsh and dry but I think I'm hilarious. Sometimes unintentionally.
• I can admit my misteaks mistakes. 

I admit that I did get stuck at 6 or 7 and had to actually over-think the last 3. But I like the list I've come up with and I know that I will definitely try to not only take compliments from other people better but also give them to myself.