Firsts Friday - First Boyfriend/GirlfriendFriday, July 03, 2015
For this month's link-up, we're going to talk about First Boyfriend/Girlfriend. Yup, it's time to get personal. If you're looking for last month's link-up - First Memory just click!
So, when I was in 8th grade I had this super girlie crush on this guy a year younger. He was super cute, cool, and totally goofy. We were friends who'd hang out before school and occasionally after school. We were both in choir (I know how that sounds but it was the only extra-curricular activity that had a pizza party at the end of year. Also, you didn't need to try out.) which meant we spent a lot of time together during the Christmas play.
Anyway, this guy was cool and I was diggin' him. I would talk to my best friend about him on the phone, imaging how awesome it would be to date.
Never mind the fact that I was all of 13 years old. Never mind the fact that I couldn't drive or that my mother would forbid such things. Never mind the fact that we couldn't really "date" anyway. It was just one of those things I'd read so much about in my YA books and saw on TV all the time. I wanted a boyfriend.
I never though it would happen. I was too scared to ever broach such a subject with him and I was totally fine just hanging out as friends albeit with my stomach flipping every other sentence or so. I thought that was all that was going to happen...
Untilllllll one of his friends comes over to me and says "Hey, *Bob likes you. Do you wanna go out with him?"
Which like completely threw me off guard. I'm not fast on my best days, but add in some awkward teenager-iness and the fact that I'm supposed to tell his friend - and some other guy too - that I've been crushing on their friend forever made me just completely lose words.
"Umm. Ok. Yeah." I stutteringly told the messengers while nodding my head.
They went back to tell him. I can't remember but I think he looked over and smiled. Maybe we talked alone later that day?
So, that was it. I was in a relationship. I had my first boyfriend. And I hated it.
Not because he was horrible or because he changed when we got together. He was still really sweet.
But I hated that everyone knew. I went to a small school. Like...super tiny so of course everyone was going to know eventually. But...everyone knew right off the bat. His friends, my friends they would try to get us to talk more, hold hands, sit together whenever possible. It was like being an ant in one of those see-through ant farms. I felt like everything I did was being judged and discussed. Not just the good things either like when I'd laugh at his jokes but all the ways I was clueless as to how to be girlfriendly.
Am I supposed to want to hold his hand all the time? Is it okay if I don't call him tonight?
Then one of our teachers, one of my favorite teachers, made a comment about it in class and I felt like everyone and their mother knew.
Believe it or not, this girl who blogs about her life is pretty private. I hate when people know things that I haven't expressly told them. I don't like people knowing my business so I decided the whole relationship thing was more trouble than it was worth and I had to put a stop to it.
I ended up breaking up with him.
A whole 3 days after we first got together.
Yup, I'm that girl. I think I went up to him before school or at recess and did the whole - it's not me it's you, can we still be friends thing.
I think you can imagine how that turned out.
We're Facebook friends now but we never got over that whole dating ordeal. Occasionally I think about him and the decision I made so quickly and I regret it because I've learned to say fuckit when people judge. Also, I learned that if anyone was talking about us it was probably for a whole two seconds. Apparently my mother was right and the Earth does not revolve around me.
So that's my embarrassing (does anyone else notice a trend?) first boyfriend story. I'd love to hear about yours. Did you fall madly in love in the produce section? Did you meet on a blind date? Tell us all about it! We'd love to hear it. Just grab the button and link up.