November Update

It's already 21 days into November and I can hardly believe it. I feel like Halloween just finished and I have absolutely no idea where the time has gone.

I've been busy at work and with my new internship. 

Yup! I have an internship and I know I've bitched about them before but this one is actually mutually beneficial (which is exactly what an internship should be). 

I am interning at this really awesome place called SAY Si.

I'm actually the intern for the regional Scholastic Art & Writing Awards. It's been fun and it's just getting started. The ceremony isn't until January but I've already started working there a couple days a week.

They are a great organization and were nationally recognized as such. It's been such a pleasure to work with all the people there. They are so nice and creative!

I've also been busy at workwork. Along with my master control duties I've been editing tune-ins and promos. I have editing experience and was so excited to finally get started getting back into it. And though the editing isn't particularly creative at the moment I'm glad to be getting my fingers back into Mac action. It took me a while to re-remember all those keyboard shortcuts. 

This also makes my days go by quicker since I'm busy with multiple things to do as soon as I get in. 

I've been drinking crazy amounts of coffee to get through it all. 

This Sunday, Lauren, her BF, John, and I will be going to see Kathy Griffin at the Majestic Theater. I love Kathy. She's so irreverent and hilarious. 

We're going to the late showing so we're also going to go downtown bar hopping. 

 I need a new dress. 

Then of course there is Thanksgiving and my birthday and hopefully some Christmas decorating. Which means Christmas music!

John is going to hate me. 

This month has seriously gone by so fast I can't even believe it. And you just know that December will go by even quicker.


Anyway, I know you've just been devastated by my lack of posts but fear not! I will get back on it now that I've more-or-less got everything in order. 

Sons of Anarchy

John and I needed a new show to watch together so on the advice of a friend we started to watch Sons of Anarchy.

I was optimistic about the show. I know that many Facebook friends talk about it and like it. I know that it's supposed to be about some badass bikers but that was basically all I knew about it.

I did know, thanks to Lauren, that main character Jax played by Charlie Hunnam was supposed to be the main guy in the 50 Shades of Gray porn movie.

But then he backed out.

So, like I said I was optimistic but I have got to tell you...

I think it's a stupid show and after just IMDBing it I'm kind of surprised it's gotten six seasons.

Okay, okay, so I've only seen the first three episodes but seriously, I had a hard enough time getting through them.

First, let me say that I love anti-hero stories. I love underdog stories - the misunderstood, broody sexyman stories. Those are great. Characters like Walter White, Loki, and Dexter Morgan that have human emotions and motivations for doing what they do. I get, and love, those stories.

But Sons of Anarchy isn't that story.

In the first episode some Mexican gang rivals burn down the SoA gun house. And I'm left confused because I don't know if this is supposed to be the thing that gets me on their side. Am I supposed to feel bad for the biker gang? Am I supposed to be pissed that their illegal gun operation blows up in flames? Am I supposed to hate the Mexican "bad" guys but love these badboys?

I didn't. And I don't.

The show is also incredibly misogynistic. In the second (or third) episode when the SoA need a favor done they call upon a lady. Not because she's intelligent or good with tools. No, they need her simply because the guy they want that favor from...yeah he wants to get into her pants. Wow. Shocker. She has a vagina and it's obviously the only good she's for.

And instead of being insanely pissed, embarrassed, or offended she's like Ew, really? You want me to do that guy? Haha. 

But hey! She doesn't mind (and I quote) "I'll do him if you do me." This she says to Jax who everyone knows is the sexiest, manslut on the face of the planet and is obviously every girl's fantasy.

Fuck.that.shit. 



To me, the entire show comes off as men being men. And not in any way you'd want your son to emulate.


These are grown ass adults. They are (supposedly) men. Some have families, some don't, but whatever. They are supposed to be fully aware of their actions. But instead they are stupid, barbarous, teenage boys who act on their first impulse without thinking more than two seconds in the future.

For example, while on the road some douche cuts off Jax. That would make anyone angry, sure. You could yell at him, cuss him out, honk your horn, hell, give him the finger. All of those would be acceptable adult behavior.

What's not adult behavior? Finding the guy at a gas station and completely punching his face in.

WTF.

Again I'm left wondering,  am I supposed to swoon over Jax now? Am I supposed to, like that lady, want him to bed me because he's just so manly?

I didn't. And I don't. 

The rest of the gang isn't any better. One sleeps with some illegal women who end up dead in the arson fire and the gang has to dispose of them because the guy's semen will turn up when they do the autopsy.

I'd love to have that guy on my team. He sounds like a real winner.

The only guy who stood out to me was the guy with tattoos on his head because he kind of resembles this one guy I dated. Minus the tattoos.

Anyway, the whole deal is that I just cannot relate to, or care about, these characters. These men who have absolutely no redeeming qualities are made to be the heroes of the story and I just can't stand for that.

The one and only person I felt any sort of connection to was the wife of Opie.

Opie

Opie's Wife.

Opie is the only one who has gone to jail for things he has done. The other gang members have their mugshots on the wall as pseduo-trophies but Opie was away for five years. His wife, not only waited for him, but now wants him to quit that life and live a better one.

And it's hard. They have a car payment and food to buy for their kids. But she's trying her hardest to make it work, taking extra shifts or whatever needs to be done.

When she doesn't have enough money for groceries and Jax's mother offers them to her, she declines. She wants absolutely nothing to do with them even if it means having to go without.

Opie on the hand doesn't like anything that's not easy. He wants to get back with the gang to do whatever it is he does and make some money.

I feel for this woman because she seems to be the only one who understands that even though it's easy it's not right. She doesn't want to be without him (again). She's the one who supported her children, alone, for five years while Beardy pumped iron and yet she is the one who comes off as a naggy bitch?




Another thing I cannot understand in the show is this bullshit guilt card they pull all the time called "do it for the club".

No.

I've never understood the whole brotherhood dynamic of gangs and fraternities (and sisterhood of sororities). Things like people telling me that I have to dance to Lil Wayne's "Lollipop", buy a Tiffany necklace and then throw it in the river, or sit naked on a washing machine while girls circle my jiggly bits are not, and have never been, my definition of fun, family, friendship or camaraderie.

Once again I say...fuck.that.shit.

I don't care if the "club" or whatever told me to hug strangers at random. The point of the matter is that I don't do anything I don't want to do. This whole peer pressure shit should have been done in high school.

And yet, here are men who claim to be their "family" telling them that if they don't do exactly what they tell them to do...not only will they not be a real man, but they'll also be cast out.

I have two very conflicting thoughts and I don't know which one to say first:

So much for family. 

That doesn't even make sense. 

So yeah, I guess tons of people love Sons of Anarchy because they bang bitches, make shittons of money and are manly.

They may be manly but they aren't Men.


I give it 1 out of 5 popcorn.

Extra: This was an article I found on IMDB that I think sums up my thoughts on the show perfectly.

Things I Want

So, John and I have been living in the house for a while and we more or less have gotten into the swing of things.

The weird noises at night no longer scare me but just about every morning we wake up to this weird, low, throaty moaning sound and we can't figure out where it comes from.

Anyway, because I'm nothing if not a spoiled American I have compiled a list of things I want that would make my life easier but I don't necessarily need (or can afford).


1. Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer. So many programs that I watch use this thing like nobody's business. It does everything for you. You can have it mix things while you go to your fridge and get the next part ready. My mum has one and she loves it. I think everyone who has bought one loves it.

Aqua Sky

Pistachio

2. A bike. I know that cruisers aren't the best bike to ride around in since they only have one speed but they seem to be the only cute ones.

Huffy Nassau via Target. 

3. A bigger couch. The couch we have I bought less than a year ago and though we can both fit on it sitting up if we want to stretch out and get comfy one of us (usually John) ends up hanging off of it...or on the floor. I'd love if it was not leather, pleather, or any sort of sticky-in-hot, cold-in-winter material.

I would love this sectional. 

In this color. 

4. A book case. I have tons of books and every time I've moved I've left them at my parent's house because my apartments never had enough space to house them all.

Citybook. 

5. An herb garden. I think it would not only be cute but it'd give me a healthy hobby to do and I'd save some money by just going outside to grab some rosemary or whatever.

Via Ginger Snap Crafts

Rape Culture

We may all know that rape is wrong. It is a punishable offence. However, rape culture refers to the views society has towards rape and the US very much pushes a culture of sexual assault tolerance and neglect.

Though the US may not be as tolerant as some other countries, things like TV, movies, jokes, tweets, and even distasteful T-shirts further perpetuate the idea that women are objects to be used by men however they see fit.

Aspects of rape culture include victim blaming, slut shaming, sexual objectification, and trivializing sexual assaults.

America does all of these.

If you don't think that America is a rape culture then look no further than the military.

The documentary, The Invisible War, is a great and truly sad example of rape culture. This horrible epidemic of having men and women raped and having their perpetrators go free is despicable. It is disgusting. And yet, the military is doing it. They try to cover it up. They blame the women for drinking. They say things like "Oh, gee whiz golly wolly, men will be men".

But what does that say to the men and women who have to go through these horrible experiences? These are people who fight for our country, who protect our freedoms and they are having theirs taken away from the very people they were taught to trust with her life.


Another significant example that comes to mind about trivializing and even trying to ignore sexual assault crimes are colleges. Bonnie Erbe on To the Contrary recently talked about this with her panel.

They start talking about it 40 seconds in. 

They discuss how, on average, colleges received a C rating when it came to their safety procedures and handling of sexual assault crimes on campus.

Many colleges do not talk about their sex crimes on campus because it reflects badly on the school. However, because of this, a lot of people do not know that this is going on and therefore cannot take the proper precautions.


Another aspect of rape culture that is rampant in America is the way women are portrayed in the media. These images of women as nothing but objects for men's entertainment further enhance the belief that men can do whatever they want to women.

As seen on a T-shirt. 

Jokes, tweets, sexist T-shirts further perpetuate the belief that men can do whatever they want to women because our society has objectified us to the point that they do not see us as humans.

I know I've already shared this little gem with you, but it really is disgusting in content and in how recently it was made. 


We are nothing but tits and ass. This idea that we are simply sexual creatures made to please men whenever the mood strikes is one that is so dangerous and yet is the most commonly used to sell products, to get more ratings, and the one that is mostly overlooked.


Trivializing the seriousness of what rape is can also be seen as condoning it. Take for example this recent headline from Montana.

Read the full article here.

The girl was 14. 14 years old and apparently she was in control of the situation when her 40something year old adult teacher raped her. Her rapists got a whopping 30 days.


Things like this happen in America. We must talk about it. Men and women must not be afraid to talk about it. Just because it is an uncomfortable topic doesn't mean it should be ignored. The fact that so many different places and organizations are unsure of how to handle the cases and therefore cover them up should be ample evidence that it IS going on and it needs to be addressed. It is a big problem and these have to be dealt with before even more people go through these awful life-changing traumas.

We also have to be more aware as individuals. We have to go beyond what is funny for a few seconds and think of what it means for women. We have to stop blaming women who drink for getting raped. We have to stop defending men who cannot control themselves.

This rape culture mentality has to change. We cannot continue to ignore the problem. More of these crimes have be to harshly punishable. We have to talk more about these topics. We have to stop seeing rape as something normal that happens.

Bitchin' About: Mason Jars

I love Pinterest.

It is one of my favorite time wasters. But after a while you realize just how saturated some things have become in home décor that you just want to take them and smash them on the ground because no matter what anyone says they aren't snow globes, vases, or cups.


I'm talking of course, about the (un)mighty Mason Jar.


I simply don't like the look of mason jars. I don't think they look particularly cool or trendy, hip or stylish. They look like something your grandma gives you when she makes jam. Oh wait, she does, because that's what they're used for.

Mason jars came around in 1858 to preserve food. If you do the jam and the lids right then by the time the stuff cools it forms a tight, vacuum-like seal and the food is good for forever.

Apparently people who have loads of money and nothing to do with it, collect the older versions. 

  

But since vintage and cheap are in right now, there have been tons of Pinners who have found other uses for mason jars. With very little trouble (but some expense) you could have a house full of mason jar objects.

You're having a small party at your house; so you don't lose track of time why don't you look at your...mason jar clock.

You're guests have started to arrive so you serve them some mixed drinks. What better way to mix a drink than with...a mason jar cocktail shaker.

And once that drink is mixed and chilly why don't you just pour it into this fancy...mason jar glass.



Via

The guests are starting to get hungry though so you bring out their salad...in a mason jar.

Via

And of course their dessert...in a mason jar.

Via

But oh no! It's getting dark. Why don't you light up the room with some...mason jars.

Via

 

Your guests have had a lot to drink so when they go to the restroom why not let them see your beautiful...mason jar soap dispenser.



Via

And instead of that stupid plant in that stupid plastic pot why not put some nice flowers in a...mason jar vase.

Via

While your friends are sitting there talking, why not give them something to look at too like your...mason jar snow globe.

Via

Like I said, your guests have had a lot to drink so why not make their cups into...sippy mason jars. That way they won't spill anything.

Via

Ugh.

Victim Blaming

I read this article entitled, Nightmare in Maryville: Teens' Sexual Encounter Ignites a Firestorm Against Family, by Dugan Arnett yesterday and by the time I had finished I was disgusted.

Disgusted with the justice system (or the injustice system in this case).
Disgusted with the boys.
Disgusted with the small town mentality.
Disgusted by the entire article.

I don't want to summarize the article for fear that you'll not read the infinitely better-written, fully-formed, massively-researched original.

But what I want to call attention to is this little thing called Victim Blaming.

Victim blaming, according to Wikipedia, first became a phrase in 1971 and was used to describe the phenomena of racists trying to justify their ideologies.

The term is general and can be used for any sort of crime.

"You got robbed? Oh well, you shouldn't have been flaunting your expensive purse."

In this post I'm talking specifically about sexual assault.

Victim blaming is never okay. I don't understand how someone who has the RIGHT to do something, gets blamed for having another asshole do something WRONG to them...but to blame the victim of a sexual assault is absolutely batshit crazy.

Though the US doesn't have such staunch stigmas as other countries towards sexuality - religious or otherwise- it is by no means stigma free.

When someone, especially women, are victims of sexual assault it is usually made to be their fault.

"Well, you did have too many mojitos and your skirt was short. 
What did you think would happen?"

This not only doesn't help ANYTHING it makes things worse because you are focusing on the complete opposite of what you should.

Why is the question not (to the rapist)

"Why did you do it?"

Women have a right to drink.
Women have a right to wear whatever they want.
Women who flirt with you at the beginning of the night and then realize you're a scumbag have the right to refuse you later on.

Rape is rape. It doesn't matter if you're had too much to drink. It doesn't matter if you're in a short skirt. Hey you could be naked and you're still not ASKING for it.

This way of thinking - that the victim should take some sort of responsibility for the pain, emotional and physical, and trauma caused to them is dangerous. By having people blame the victim and say that they are ASKING for it, gives more people an excuse to do it.

To add insult to injury some trial lawyers ask the victim about their sexual history.

If a women did one man, twenty men, every.single.man on the face of the planet and then rejects just one, who then forces himself onto her, IT IS RAPE.

You just need to say no once.

But this idea that women should be accountable for the crimes that are done to them are absolutely wrong. There are certain precautions women should take but to tell women that if they drink they should be expected to get raped, is not in the same category as preventative measures.

The idea of victim blaming is disgusting because it is putting all of the accountability in the victim and this cannot keep happening, especially with the sexual assault epidemic that is seemingly going around.

What must be done is to look at, and rightfully blame the perpetrator. We are never going to solve, understand, reduce and eliminate sexual assault crimes by blaming the people who have the right to do whatever it is they are doing.

We are not going to stop drinking and stop wearing skirts because men can't handle it. It is the men that commit these crimes that we should be focused on. And they should be persecuted to the full extent of the law when these crimes are committed without taking into consideration the sexual history or the outfit of the women in question.


Some notes:

• I generalized male rapists vs female rapists because more rapes (against both genders) are done by males. 
• I can understand, to some extent, why sexual history is questioned. I know that some women wrongfully accuse men of raping them - that however is another matter entirely. I believe in those cases the women should be prosecuted as harshly as possible for time wasted, money wasted, lying/fraud/perjury/whatever, and for the intent of forever ruining a man's life.