I Love Taking Pictures

John and I just bought a new computer so I was going through some of my old photos. These are some of my favorite. Hopefully they will not only brighten your day but make you think I am more than just a bitter, angry old lady.

Westminster College. I stayed here one year & I still owe them money. 

He was a nice man who helped me and my group on a video project.

Vegas vacation with my LifePartner (friend) Ari.

Some formation in Nevada while roadtripping with Ari. 

Rose. 

Waterfall lake thing at Red Butte Gardens in Utah. 

American Windchime.

And this last picture is more for reminiscing. This is the only picture on this entry that I did not take but it is the only picture (I think in existence) of John and me before we were really John and me.

Worst picture of us. EVER. The world laughs at our misfortune. 

On Being an Introvert



It's summer. That fake season that exists only to children and people in college. I have not had a "proper" summer for years. I'd always had a job or summer school to do, so summer vacation was just a long-time-gone memory for me.



This summer is no different; I now have a real, full time job that requires I show up five days a week. I am however still looking forward to the weekends I have off with John where we can do fun things.

Because believe it or not sometimes I do feel like going out. Sometimes I want to go to a bar and drink something tasty with friends. Or try a new restaurant. Maybe take a trip to the park?

But Valerie, if this is true why then are you always hidden away in your apartment, where turning on the lights causes you to hiss and shield your eyes? If you do like going out like you say, why then do you ignore that mass text inviting you to that club with 500 people you've never before met? Why do you show up late to family gatherings and leave before everyone?

Well that ladies and gentleman is where my writing and the appropriately named Introvert Cat come in. Both of these things will help me - help you understand introverts - you extroverted freak, you.

Yes. I am an introvert. The first step is acceptance.

The next step involves this lovely book:

Just kidding! Sort of.

Some common misconceptions about introverts are that they go out actively trying to avoid conversations because they are:

1.) Rude
2.) Uninterested
3.) Snobby
4.) Shy
5.) Antisocial

None of these are true. Introverts are just introverts.

They can be true. Just like there can be a rude, snobby extrovert but none of these on their own make an introvert.


Why do introverts tend to not talk much?

I can only speak from experience but I'd rather watch, listen. When in big groups people tend to exaggerate their behaviors. Girls can act catty, frat boys end up beating their chests, loners hang out by the chip bowl. By not saying anything for a minute or two I can gather my bearings and see right off the bat who would be the most draining should I have to talk to them. For example at this party I will ask someone to get me a beer from the keg as to dodge the boys. I will skirt around the girls should my lack of designer labels spark some sort of riot. I will hang out by the chip and dip bowl because like me they won't want to start a conversation.

What do you mean by "be the most draining"?

Introverts don't mind talking. We only like to talk when we have something to say that will contribute in some way to the conversation. The conversation has to be important. Small talk is the worst. Small talk is torture. When in big groups (or small groups or even around co-workers) small talk is required. But it is so tiring to, come up with and pretend to be, chatty. I honestly don't know what to say, especially if I'm not interested in the subject.

This is a real life example. Please don't judge me.

Co-worker showing me a picture of their new grandbaby.
"This is my grandson."
"Oh, how cute! How old is he?"
"He's six months."
"He's super cute. I like his mustache pacifier."
"Yeah, he's already got a mustache."
"Ha, ha, ha."
Cue awkward silence.

Seriously. I didn't know what to say after that. I tried thinking of something else to say or ask him about his grandchild but then all I could do was chastise myself for being a complete idiot. When I told John the story he laughed and told me to pretend I'm someone else.

"What would someone else say if you were listening to their conversation?"
"I dunno. Baby things?"
"Like what? Oh, what child of yours had a baby? How many grandchildren do you have? Are you going to spoil him?"
"Oh, yeah. Those all sound like something else a normal, sane person would say. God, that's so tiring. If I ask all those questions then he'll answer them."


For the most part, I really don't know what to say in small talk conversations. If you and I do not have a natural talking rhythm in the beginning I will have a hard time, if ever, easing myself into some sort of semi-normal dialogue. A five minute conversation can make my brain as tired as if I just delivered an hour speech. I'm hyper aware of what I'm saying, how you're responding to it, what I should have said, what I could have asked, by the end I just want to crawl into a hole and not say another word.

Because we introverts suck so much at small talk, we sometimes find ourselves saying things right off the bat which may come off as rude. We have to keep up with societal conventions of asking how the weather is before we start taking about that X-Rated scene in the episode of Dora the Explorer yesterday.

Why don't introverts like to go out? To a party? A bar? A club?

I love parties. I love bars. I can do without a club but other introverts I'm sure like those too. Why then are they not our usual Friday night hangout? Because we take things in quicker. For whatever reason we do not need to stay five hours at a club to understand that gross, sweaty men are just going to rub up against us offering to buy us cheap dollar beers. Now that I'm getting older, parties seem to take on a whole new meaning. I don't need to dodge the whole "When are you going to get married and have kids?" question 50 times before I know that I hate answering it and that even though I've answered 20 times my response is not getting any better. If introverts go out, they like to go out with their friends so that at least they know people with whom they will not have to initiate small talk.

Why do introverts need time alone? Don't you love me anymore?

Introverts need time alone to recharge. I don't exactly know what that means but I know that when I'm alone it's true. Being alone is the most relaxing feeling. You're guard is down, your able to float in your own imagination, thoughts, ideas. Being alone gives introverts time to get their creative juices flowing again. Whether it's reading a book, taking a long hot shower, or cooking, whatever it is that comforts and relaxes is a good thing. It has nothing to do with them not liking people whether it's their friends, family, or significant other. It just means that they need time to themselves to take a big breath.

How do you deal with your introversion?

Dealing sounds as if introversion is a problem. It's not. I don't go any more out of my way than any other person would to make sure they are happy. I try to live as happily as I can no matter what other people think. John, my few friends, and my mom, dad, and brother are all ok with me being an introvert. I think my entire family (mom, dad, brother) and John are introverts so we're in good company at least.

So, if you're an introvert you've probably already heard all about this. If you're an extrovert you've probably experienced some of these tendencies as there is no set Introvert/Extrovert chart. Everyone is on one line and you're either on the far left or far right or somewhere in between; it's more of a spectrum.

If, however you're new to introversion or just looking to cheer yourself up here are some famous introverts:

Albert Einstein

JK Rowling Photo by: ANDREW MONTGOMERY

Alfred Hitchcock

Charles Darwin

Salvador Dali

Disclaimer: This is my experience on being an introvert. I'm sure other people are kinder and more normal about it.

Frozen Bananas

Last week John was watching the first few episodes of Arrested Development and I had a mad craving for some Bluth Frozen Bananas. I decided to make my own and document the process.

You will need:

Bananas (or any other fruit you think would be good covered in chocolate)
Milk
Coconut Flakes
Crushed peanuts
Dark or Milk Chocolate chips

1.  melt your chocolate. I used dark chocolate because it's my favorite. I added about a tablespoon or so of milk to help it a bit.

I melted my chocolate over a pot of boiling water, stirring constantly so that it wouldn't burn. This is usually the best way to melt chocolate because it does it evenly and you have the power to make it as hot as you want.

2.  cover your bananas (or fruit) with chocolate and whatever toppings you like. As you can see I added coconut and nuts.

3. Cover the bananas with plastic wrap and freeze.

4. Enjoy!

Fish Tacos

Ladies and Gentleman, today I invite you to eat (and by eat I mean look at) my new cooking section: Valerie's Vittles.

This new section will feature the things I cook or bake.

I hope you enjoy!

Today I decided to Donna Reed it up and cook some lunch/dinner for John and myself.

We went against our better judgement and went to HEB today even though everyone and their mother were there. I HATE shopping on Sundays. Every time we need groceries I say we have to go for day and days before knowing that I despise going on Sunday. But I put it off so long that I end up going on Sundays with everyone else anyway.

Whatever.

So they had some weird fish on sale for super cheap! It was only 2.50$ a pound! And I figured all fish taste like fish, unless it's tuna or salmon, so we bought some and I decided to make some fish tacos.

My fish tacos didn't come from a recipe. I kind of just looked up some recipes and decided that I'd make my own with what I had on hand/the few things I bought on sale.

I forgot to take pictures of the fish-making process but if you would like to make the fish you will need:

Ingredients:
Fish (I used Pangasius but most recipes called for tilapia.)
Cumin
Salt
Pepper
Olive Oil
Onion
Garlic
(I'm not a very big cook so basically...just add whatever you want. I didn't measure. I didn't count. I just shook and drizzled and added stuff until it smelled good.)

Directions:
In a pan I added the olive oil, onion, and garlic. I sauteed it for about 3 minutes. While that was going I shook some cumin, salt, and pepper onto the fish fillets (both sides). Then I added the fish into the pan, covered, flipping once until it was opaque through. I had some big fillets so the whole process took about 7 minutes. I didn't serve the onions and the garlic on the tacos though (1. because I burned them and 2. because it didn't seem to go so I just threw them out afterward.)

To add some flavor to the tacos I made two different sauces to put on the tacos. The first one was:

Chiptole Sour Cream 

This was super simple and added a very ole!, smokey flavor to the tacos.
Here are the very detailed directions.

Ingredients: 

• Chipotle Peppers in Adobo Sauce
• Sour Cream (I used full fat because I bought it for another recipe but you can use whatever you like.) 

Directions:

1. Take the peppers out of the can and cut them. 
2. Put some sour cream into a bowl.
3. Put the cut peppers and some of the sauce into the sour cream.
4. Stir. 
5. Enjoy!

I'm serious about not measuring things. I only measure things with baking. But I trust you; you should trust you. You're probably not as dumb as you think. Something I never figured out until I watched all those cooking shows at work is to just go in there and try it. Smell it, taste it a bit and if it doesn't taste right find some way to make it better, if you can't...well then try again next time.

I wasn't sure if I was going to like it. So I only put two dollops or so of sour cream. Then I added the peppers and the sauce to taste. As you can see from the picture my sauce came out to a orange-y hue. Obviously the more chipotle you add the darker (and smokier)  the sauce becomes. It adds a good creamy, cool, smooth flavor to the tacos and then towards the end you get a little kick of the chipotle.


The second sauce was a more Asian flavor and was my personal favorite. This one was also super simple.

Ingredients: 

• Sriracha Chili Sauce
• Mayo  

Directions:

1. Put some mayo into a bowl.
2. Add Sriracha to taste.
3. Stir. 
4. Enjoy!

Seriously. That's it and it's very, very tasty. The Sriracha really complements the fish and the mayo adds a really good creaminess to the entire taco.

The Finished Product. 

I was very proud of myself. John loved them too so I was doubly proud. Before him I was never much of a cooker but damn if all those Martha Stewart, Rick Bayless, Patti's Mexican Table shows didn't make a good housewife of me yet.

Anyway, to the tacos I added red cabbage, some cilantro, lime, and some homemade guacamole.

I could totally lie and say I slaved away for hours cooking those beans and rice but the rice came from a box and the beans from a can.

After I finished Reeding it up I sat down, opened up a can of Dr. B, put my feet up and watched Gilmore Girls Season 2 (for approximately the 60th time).

Bitchin' About: Cyclists

Recently, San Antonio started this new bicycle program called B-Cycle. You rent out one of the city's bikes at a station and ride it around downtown where you then return it to another bike station close by. I love the idea of it even though I hardly ever hangout downtown and despite the fact that I haven't ridden a bike in years.

Ricardo B. Brazziell

The thing I'm not so fond of about the program? The people on the bikes.

This is only cute in movies. Not in the middle of the road. Via.

I understand that cycling is a healthy way of life, doesn't run on gas thus saving you money and the environment.

What I don't understand are the people who ride their bikes on the road and
1.) Don't follow the rules
2.) Are assholes.

Usually they are one and the same. I get that you have just as much of a right to ride on the street but not all of downtown has bike lanes yet so you getting as close to the curb as you can would be great.

Also, I get that you're riding around with your friends and you want to laugh and chat or whatever but don't ride SIDE BY SIDE! You're on a bike! You are going a lot slower than my car. Also, if I were to hit you with my car...you'd die. I wouldn't. When people drive places in multiple cars they drive in a single file. They do NOT get on the highway and drive side by side. Why? Because that would just be stupid. You're just being street-greedy.

When you are on your bike you are able to make quick turns, weave in and out of traffic better than a two ton car. Why? Because you and your bike weigh significantly less. The funny thing is though, you ride with traffic therefore you must obey traffic laws.

You cannot just decide at the last minute that your'e going to turn right even though you're in the left lane. Yes, physically you can do it but the problem is my car cannot stop as quickly as your cute little hipster bike. If you decide at the last minute to swerve and get in front of me then I'm going to slam into you with my 2,000 pound car and guess which one of us is more likely to die. Hint: not me.

Via

Working downtown means I encounter a lot more cyclists there than around my apartment. But there are many by my parent's house. Those are usually the hardcore cyclists with their tiny bike shorts, aerodynamic helmets, and polarized sunglasses. They do not seem to be such big dbags as the millions of hipsters riding around downtown.

Via

The people who run lights, hog the street, ride in long lines beside their friends make me hate everyone pedaling two wheels. And that's just not fair to the other people following the rules of the road.

It's really not that hard to ride kindly. Hell, those rules are made for YOUR SAFETY!

Via

So don't B a D, ok?

One Way or Another: MeMeMe

I know I’m a bit late to the party but recently I was thinking about my generation thanks to all the hoopla an article entitled, The MEMEME Generation: Millennials are lazy, entitled narcissist who still live with their parents by Joel Stein.

Time Magazine

I am a millennial and therefore was too lazy to download the full article to read. Haha! Just kidding I’m a post college student and couldn't bare spending the 5$ to read the full of BS article. I did read a lot of reactions and responses to the article though, those are definitely worth your time: here, here, and here. 


Our generation is unlike any before it in that we don’t quite know how to proceed from here. Back in the day having a house and a family was the American dream. 

Via

What about now? I've never wanted kids and a house is a looong way down the road, if ever. 

Is Stein saying that by living with our parents kids my age are failures? With tuition rates the highest they've ever been and college loans through the roof would it be wise for us to go out and live on our own simply because living with our parents is somehow seen as "childish"? 

Maybe Stein and all the other older people before him should stop labeling us and telling us what is seen as childish, lazy and adult. I mean, we millennials were around for that housing market crash a few years ago and yet not old enough to participate. Maybe if you didn't worry so much about what people think of you we wouldn't be facing the repercussions today.

Via

Of course every generation is a MEMEME generation. Just because I want a good job for ME, or want a house for ME doesn't mean that I don't care about the people around me. If I didn't care about ME how would I be able to care about anyone else? I want the best for ME because in the future I'm going to be the one making decisions for not only myself but everyone else when it comes time to vote.

Via

I think one of the main problems is the fact that people like Stein (and his followers I'm not specifically picking on him) think that we need to be labeled according to some sort of scale. I don’t have a bachelor’s degree (-1?) but I do have a full-time job (+1?). Am I less lazy, more grown-up than my friend who does have that diploma hanging on their wall (+1?) but is slaving away at a restaurant for tips (-1?)? I don’t live with my parents anymore (+1?) but paying all those bills seems to be getting harder and harder to do (-1?).  

Via

Which one of the people in the scenario are lazy, entitled narcissist? It seems to me that we're all just trying to get by without ending up thousands in debt, and ensuring we have food at every meal.Why does it seem that our generation is particularly narcissistic? Well maybe it has to do with the fact that we are in a limbo of sorts: too old for high school, too young for jobs that require 3-5 years experience. This in-between time where we are trying to figure out what is not only right for US but will let us live a somewhat stable life is very important. We have to worry about our retirement years since Social Security will run out by the time I even get to think about it. We have to worry about finding jobs with insurance plans. We have to worry about saving enough money for emergencies while still paying off student loans. We have to worry about how we're going to fix the state of the world we live in to make it better not only for us but for those who come after it.

So yes, we are a narcissistic generation just like every other generation before us. But I think that because we've seen firsthand the housing market crash, the Wall Street greed, PRISM, we understand that we can make a difference. And I think that once you old-timers finally move over and let us take the reins we'll make better choices for everyone not just ourselves.

Via

The Name is Valerie, Darling

I've never been one to pour my heart out via the interwebz. Call me paranoid but I'm scared of having one of my more embarrassing moments turned into a viral video a la Numa Numa.

Even though that video brings me happiness every time I watch it so really it's all for the good of humanity.


But seeing as I've already said quite a bit about my life I figured I should give you a background.


Firstly, my name is Valerie Darling. I am the Seven Year Bitch though people who know me are probably like "You've been a bitch far longer than seven years", which is

1.) True.
2.) Rude.

However, the play on words comes from my love of all things cinema and all things old-school.




The Seven Year Itch.

Though I'm not a huge Marilyn Monroe fan so maybe the phase "all things" is a little too encompassing.


Currently, I live in San Antonio, Texas but I reside permanently in my head. I think too much, worry too much and try to do too much which is how I end up doing nothing at all.

Via

It's a coping mechanism.

If I were to be living my dream job I would be RETIRED on a beach somewhere. Or more likely sitting at home in the dark having random Netflix marathons and would weigh about a 1,000 pounds because I don't really like the beach, or the sun, or myself in a bathing suit.

But because my parents are not super rich and therefore did not give me a multi-million dollar trust when I turned 18, I currently work at a TV station enriching the lives of the young and the old. Oh yeah, and of course, myself.


I live with my boyfriend, John and love every minute of it.

He, unlike anyone else, seems to be the only person who can calm down my overactive mind and also has the ability to deflate my head when it gets too big to fit through the door jamb. I've know him for what feels like forever and a day but really we met in high school. Our story is one of the Harry Potter variety in that it would take seven volumes to adequately cover. But for those who like a love story I'm working on it...so stay tuned?


I originally started this blog to work on my writing and rant. I rant a lot so I figured I should not bother John with them anymore. The intention was good but I still rant to John on a daily basis. So then this blog became a way of working on my writing and keeping track of what was going on in my life and a way to pass the time when I worked overnight.

Now I don't really know what it is. Maybe it'll turn more into a daily-life type blog. Or maybe I'll find more things to bitch about. Whatever it is I hope you enjoy!